Yep, that was definitely me about 10 months ago.
When I got pregnant, I had no idea about the mysteries of episiotomies, mucus plugs, and perineal massage (which is NOT a massage, folks. And whatever you do…DON’T youtube it!). I had no idea that when you sneeze you might just pee your pants, or that Tums would be apart of your daily regiment from heartburn. I had no idea that when gas and air builds up in there and baby squirms, watch out, people. (Just keeping it real).
But even with all the strange noises, emotions, squirts, and lack of control of bodily functions, I must say…..I have never enjoyed anything in the world like I’ve enjoyed being pregnant.
For years I’d heard people complain. You feel fat, you feel tired, your ankles swell, morning sickness is a pain in the butt, you can’t sleep, all you want to do is eat…and I must say, I went into pregnancy with a completely unrealistic, and if I’m honest, depressing view of the whole process. (Thank you, American media and Debbie Downers).
But the first time you feel him kick….this life, this person, this creation growing inside of you….it takes your breath away. Literally. The first time Studhubs and I saw his little legs and arms moving around on the ultrasound screen, we both cried and wondered why in the world we’d waited so long to embark on the most important journey of our lives.
A few things we’ve done the entire pregnancy that I know made my experience an incredible one. These are my must-do’s/have’s for pregnancy:
1) We blessed the baby’s spirit every night.
We’re all made up of a spirit, a soul and a body. Every one of us. Your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions, so obviously, this part of you doesn’t get activated until you come out into the world. Your body is your earthsuit and houses your soul, so of course, it’s still developing inside the womb. But your spirit is fully developed, even as your body is growing inside of your mother. We gave our baby’s spirit a 9 month head-start on his soul and his body by blessing and praying and pumping that spirit full of God’s promises EVERY night. The book we used is called Blessing Your Spirit by Arthur Burke, and he’s also got incredible resources specifically for babies on his website (http://www.theslg.com/).
They have CRAZY testimonies of babies that were diagnosed without the proper X & Y chromosomes in the womb, they blessed the baby’s spirit every night with God’s promises of fullness and wholeness….and the baby came out with everything they needed! Not only that, it was one of the most powerful things we’d experienced as a family. Every night, the three of us, as a family, would get blessed with the promises of God…and blessings are FAR more powerful than curses. I felt things beginning to change inside of me, simply by sitting under the waterfall of God’s promises every night.
Powerful, powerful stuff. (In fact, I suggest this book even if you’re not pregnant or having a baby! There’s nothing more powerful than a blessing!)
2) I NEVER, EVER, EVER spoke negatively over my body or my baby.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve overheard a mom speaking death over her body and her baby. ”This thing inside of me is making me fat….” or “I’m a heifer because of this dang pregnancy…” or “If I can just get this thing out of me…”
Your baby feels, hears, and responds to every single thing you do as a mother. Talk about massive accountability and responsibility. The babies know when they’re unwanted…they know when you’re depressed. They hear when you blame them for feeling ugly or fat…even though you think they might not understand…their spirits hear and feel EVERYTHING.
Even if I had a moment of panic when my jeans didn’t fit anymore, or when my ankles started to swell, or the 3 months I laid in bed because of morning sickness…I held myself accountable to what I chose to SPEAK over my body and my child…and I NEVER agreed with negative emotions. Ever. I never wanted my beautiful boy to hear that it was his fault that I felt a certain way, or that I was disappointed or angry…or just wanted it all to be over with.
I blessed my body to work properly, the way God intended. I blessed my appetite to be healthy and not excessive. I blessed my cravings to what I needed, and not to be indulgent. I blessed my skin to be elastic and to stretch. I blessed my hormones to be exactly what I needed…and when they seemed to be a bit too much, I blessed my emotions to be in alignment with the truth of God’s word. Because of this, I honestly can say I experienced massive amounts of JOY every day of my pregnancy.
I’m constantly challenging you to watch what you say over yourselves because it creates either life or death….how much more are you accountable to watch what you say over the children you’re entrusted to raise?
3) I stopped people who wanted to tell me their horror stories and only listened to and read testimonies that brought excitement and not fear.
There are a lot of well-meaning people out there that have had a lot of tragedy happen in childbirth….and they want to tell you about it. What I’ve learned is, this only creates fear, anxiety, and an expectation that’s contingent on someone else’s PAST and not YOUR future.
If someone wanted to tell me how horrible they had it, I’d just politely stop them and tell them what God had told me my pregnancy and childbirth was going to be like. I’d declare God’s PROMISE and not come into agreement with what I KNOW wasn’t His will. It’s never God’s will for someone to have trauma during birth. It’s never His will for panic, fear, and complication. In fact, did you know that fear releases over 1400 chemical responses in the body, and that none of them are good ones? Fear is actually the NUMBER ONE REASON FOR PAIN DURING CHILDBIRTH.
People ask me, “Are you afraid?” and I look at them like they have a few screws loose.
Afraid of what? Afraid of birthing a life that God has ordained into existence before the beginning of time? Afraid of doing something that women have done for thousands of years? Afraid of my body performing the way that God created it to perform? Why in the world would I be afraid of life happening??
Expectation is a massive part of the outcome. If you expect terror, then a lot of times, terror is what you’re going to get. If you expect complications, believe me, your fear and anxiety can actually chemically produce duress in your physical body.
I have pumped myself full of so many promises…of so much peace, of joy, of godly expectation….What in the world do I have to fear?
Ok, this is getting long, and I have a few more things to post. So I’ll post part 2 tomorrow.
Remember, no matter if you’re at the place in your life where you’re expecting babies, have babies, or are far from it….it’s never too early or too late to align your perspective, your heart, and your expectation on what God has created childbirth to be, and not what movies, Hollywood, and the world have claimed it is.
It’s not this tragic, horrible, scream at the top of your lungs experience that I thought it was 10 months ago. It’s life coming from life, it’s purpose coming from purpose, and it’s hope coming from hope.
Love you all.
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