I’m a very discerning person. It’s one of my strongest gifts.
Studhubs is always impressed when I let him know I have a strange ‘feeling’ about someone, something, or a particular situation, and then come to find out that my little siren of a gut was about as right as an arrow hitting a bullseye. I can just tell a lot of times when something is, well….off. Or on. Or somewhere in the middle.
Call it women’s intuition. Call it a gift from God. Call it whatever you like, but when it comes calling, it’s usually dead on.
This is a good gift. It’s gotten me out of a lot of bad situations or stopped me from making many life-changing mistakes. But just like my Studhubs always says, the overextension of your greatest gift can become your greatest weakness. (Let that one sink in for a minute).
This gift of discernment, if left unchecked, or if filtered through the lens of bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, pride, or insecurity, can become a nasty little thing we all like to refer to as (drum roll, please) criticism.
I can have opinions about EVERYTHING. It’s annoying, really. In fact, for years of my life, I could blabber incessantly about my very strong, very persuasive opinions about people, movie stars, cars, clothes, food, how this person should raise their child, what that person should be doing with their life, how that church should run it’s staff, how that pastor should preach, how that teacher should teach, and definitely what’s wrong with your wardrobe….
Should, should, should, should. I loved to ‘should’ on everything and everyone.
And then, like a little Benedict Arnold, my judgmental, pointed finger loved to turn on me. Not only could I tell you what was wrong with everything around me, my head just LOVED to scream out all the things that were wrong with ME. I should be thinner, I should be more disciplined. I should work out, I should be more successful. The list was eternal.
All of us look at the world through a lens. If you walk into a church, a school, your work, or up to your spouse, best friend, or personal mirror with the lens of criticism, I promise you, YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING WRONG. If wrong is what you’re looking for, you’re going to find it.
But when you look for what’s wrong, you miss the enormous amount that is actually right—time and time again.
Think about your lens. What is your personal slant on the world. Do you look for the good in the people and situations around you? Do you find yourself always criticizing what’s wrong? When you walk up to your bathroom mirror, are you devouring the 3 things you want to change instead of thanking God for the enormous amount of good you’re blessed with?
Find one thing you’ve been overly critical of (this could be a person, a spouse, a church, a boss, a friend) and find 5 positive things about it. Start cleaning your LENS. Start finding the good, finding what God is doing, finding what you appreciate about them and drop your anchor. Begin camping your heart out in the positive.
Now, the hardest part. I want you to think of 5 things that are good about the one and only person you have to always live with: YOU. Write those 5 things on your hand, tape them to the dash of your car. Put them somewhere where you can see them and read them DAILY. Begin to see yourself and position your heart and perspective from what you’ve been blessed with, not what you’re lacking.
More to come.
xx, Sista Christa
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